In my opinion, sex without kissing is like trying to start a car without turning on the ignition. You won't get very far. (At least you won't with me.) That said, some folks have very definite rules to the contrary when it comes to kissing and sex.
Kissing is, arguably, a very intimate act. Some couples in open relationships have a rule between them about not kissing a partner other than your spouse. Sexual intercourse of any type is perfectly acceptable, but kissing is "verboten". The rationale seems to be that the spouse doing the kissing may develop an emotional attachment to the other person. I suppose that is always a possibility, but to me, kissing is a necessity, and is simply part and parcel of the intimacy that I am sharing with someone. Trust me, if I don't want to kiss you, there certainly won't be anything further happening. On the flip side, if we kiss, and there is good chemistry, and those kisses ignite a fire within me, then chances are very good that we will be having some very intimate fun together at some point, as long as that feeling is mutual.
So, a kiss is not necessarily, as the song said, "just" a kiss. A kiss can be the barometer of how much chemistry, if any, there is between two people. It can be the bellows that turns a tiny flame into a raging fire that can only be quenched by two naked bodies joining together in passion.
It can also sometimes say more than words themselves. It can express a multitude of different things: "Hello, I'm happy to see you", "I've missed you", "Goodbye", "I'm sorry", "I want us both naked immediately", and so much more. It can run the gamut from friendly, familial or cultural (think the traditional European kisses on both cheeks) to passionate and knee-buckling.
A kiss can tell you the state of mind of the other person, if you are tuned in enough to read the signs. It can be an indicator of whether the person is stressed, distracted, tired, feeling playful, sad, happy, "into you", emotionally checked out, and many other things as well.
When I am involved in a sexual experience with someone, it heightens things immeasurably when we share passionate kisses while he is deep inside me. It stokes the fire that was probably ignited by the very first kisses. It keeps the passion and desire burning, and the intensity building. It makes a hot experience even hotter when interspersed with looking deep into your lover's eyes, seeing the reaction that you are causing in the other person and allowing them to see the reaction that they are causing in you. That is why I, personally, am partial to any of the "partners facing each other" positions.
One of the threads from a site I am a member of discussed kissing another guy in front of your husband. Some women expressed initial reluctance to kiss their lover in front of their husband, and I totally understand that feeling. Although my husband has never watched me during my "playtime" with another man, he has met the guys from the Dominican Republic who have shared my bed at times (albeit, before we made the step from friends to lovers). And, although I am no longer on good terms with 2 of them, I had always greeted them with kisses on both cheeks, as I greet all of my friends there. This did not change, just because hubby was there, nor did it change after we became lovers. Will the situation ever present itself where my hubby will see me passionately kiss another man? I don't know, to be honest. That whole idea is probably sufficient fodder for an entirely separate blog entry. LOL. But, in the meantime, I have total freedom to kiss someone, if we are so inclined. And kiss I most certainly will.
I, personally, love the feel of another pair of lips on mine. It restores me, somehow. And the best feeling is receiving the input back from the other person that the feeling is mutual. Overall, I think if there were more kissing, the world would be a much happier place. Don't you?
Cheers,
MB
I like you blog MB, I def continue to follow and add my thoughts
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Mitch! I appreciate it. :-)
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