"You've come a long way, baby!"

Some of the younger guys on the sites I'm on have asked in the forum whether a woman's sex drive truly does increase as she gets older, or if that's a myth. I can only answer for myself, based on my own experiences.

YES, it does increase, and sex gets even better for a woman as she gets older (although I much prefer to use "more seasoned" instead of older).

My hubby and I were just discussing this the other day, after a pretty intense lovemaking session.  I was curious, and asked him whether I was different, sexually, now than I used to be when i was younger.  His answer was yes, and he went on to say that I seemed more "into it".  That discussion led to a real moment of clarity for me that goes far beyond the notion of age.

As I have mentioned in previous entries, I was raised in a very conservative family.  Brought up to be a "good girl".  Brought up to believe that it was wrong to have sex outside of marriage (despite the fact that others in my family had done it - you know, "Do as I say, not as I do!")  My mom's version of giving me "the talk" was to give me a book written for teenaged girls and pretty much leave me to it.  Never once was I ever given the impression that sex was/should be fun, that it was good.  I was never made to think, or understand, that our bodies deserve pleasure, that sexual desire is a natural thing.  I would almost go so far as to say that I grew up feeling like sex was bad, shameful.  "Nice" girls didn't behave in certain ways.  Even once I was married and sex was "acceptable", I think part of me still clung to that ultra-conservative point of view.  Yes, I did get pleasure from lovemaking, but there was always a part of me that held back, didn't quite totally lose all control and just really let go completely.  Granted, some of my reticence to enjoy sex may have stemmed from a haunting childhood experience with inappropriate touching, but I can't blame it all on that.

Now that I have shattered the barrier of "a good girl doesn't..." by taking the step of sharing my body with someone other than my husband, I somehow also seem to have freed my mind and given myself permission to really enjoy the passion and pleasure of sex, more than I ever had before.  I am now more likely (and better able) to communicate with my husband as to what feels good, better and best.  I even initiate much more often (this also being helped by the increase in libido, I believe). This all has the added benefit of making sex better for him, too.  Who'd have thought that sex would be even hotter 20 years in to a relationship?

I know to many, I may still be very tame, conservative, old-fashioned.  When you look at the difference between me just a few years ago and me now, though, I truly am a changed woman.  I can look at the woman I am now and say "You've come (or perhaps I should say 'cum') a long way, baby!"