A girl and her toys (sex toys, that is)

As mentioned in previous postings, I did not grow up with an open attitude toward sex, far from it.  So, when the girls at work suggested (ok, insisted) that I go to a "sex shop" in preparation for our honeymoon, I felt really uncomfortable.  I felt even more uncomfortable when I was in there.  I couldn't get out of there fast enough, after paying for some body oil I managed to find in the excruciating few minutes I was there.

Fast forward almost twenty years later, and hubby and I are walking into a similar store, and checking out items like vibrators, BBC dildos and stretchy cock rings with little nubby things on them to increase clitoral stimulation.  Who'd have guessed?  Certainly not me.

I will say straight out that my preference is to play with my partner's body, be it my husband or a lover.  Whether toys are involved or not, I much prefer having another body there with me.  On the odd occasion I've used the toys on my own, I have found pleasure to be mostly empty, to be totally honest. I will sometimes use them before hubby gets home, so I am in the mood and ready, but in that case, they're more a means to an end.

It was actually my darling hubby who bought me my 8" BBC dildo, that we jokingly call "Richard", as a surprise.  We had already opened up our relationship at that point, so it was a pleasant surprise rather than an outright shock.  One of the folks on blacktowhite.net had posted a suggestion of soaking it in warm water before, which does tend to make a difference, as it's more pliable.

This has now become a fun part of playtime with hubby.  He loves to use his mouth and fingers on me, and does that to warm me up and get me ready to have the dildo inside me comfortably.  Several people on the site ask for advice about using BBC dildos on their lady to get them into the idea of having a real BBC inside them.  My best piece of advice is to get the woman really super-lubricated, naturally (ie her own lubrication, not something from a tube), BEFORE you try and insert it. If you try and insert it before she's well and truly ready, it WILL be uncomfortable and may turn her off from wanting to use it again.

One interesting thing I've discovered:  as a woman in my forties, I have had some lubrication issues at times, which can occasionally make penetration uncomfortable, or even downright painful.  If hubby gets me going to the point of being able to get the dildo inside me comfortably, then by using that on me for a while, bringing me to orgasm usually at least once, then there is no discomfort when he enters me himself.  Win-win.

There are many other toys available for couples to use to enhance their sexual experiences.  Since I have learned how important it is to communicate, I always say that it's good for a couple to go to a sex shop together and browse.  If you don't have one close to you, get on the Internet together and talk about what toys turn you on and why.  Hubby and I had talked about BBC dildos because of a thread on blacktowhite, which is why he bought me one.  It's important to have a feel for what your partner would like before you just go out and buy something.  (Some of those things are too expensive to buy, hoping that she'll be amenable to the idea.)

There are so many other things that could be discussed on this topic, but I will close for now, and just wish you all happy playtime, with whatever toy(s) you choose.

Cheers,

MB