“Am I BBC Worthy?"
This is a question frequently asked throughout the forums on Blacktowhite.
Although the feeling of self worth should come from within, we are all the products of the environment we grew up in. From a very young age we learn to base our own self worth on the feelings of others.
Growing up, I received very little positive feedback from my mother. She, herself, lacked self esteem and was always negative and critical towards us. Consequently, I became a very shy, insecure child lacking in self esteem.
At 14, I met my first husband and started life on my own. I spent the next 16 years in a loveless marriage trying to be the “good little wife”. Ours was never a good relationship, but it was all I ever knew. As hard as leaving was, staying was slowly killing me inside.
Turns out it was the best thing I ever did in my life. It gave me the opportunity to meet my (present) hubby. He is an absolutely amazing guy. Even after all these years, there isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t let me know how beautiful, sexy and loved I really am.
In the beginning, it was very hard for me to accept his compliments, but over the years they are something I have really grown to love and eventually believe. I know that no matter what I do in life, including my black friends, I have a loving man standing right there beside me.
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